COURAGE - Part II

I got a lot of feedback from my last post about courage.....I like feedback. It causes me to keep thinking , sometimes along different lines...

The last couple of days my thoughts have turned towards the people who enable others to have courage. You might call these people encouragers......they empower people like me, my brother Eddie, my friend Dan ( who also has PD+MSA), my friend Ben, and my brother Larry...they empower us to have that courage, that hope, that spirit.


Don't get me wrong, a person has to be wired a certain way to begin with to have courage. There are lots of people , who in the face of illness or adversity just give up. They show no sign of hope, courage, spirit- zip, nada, none. However, as wonderful, courageous, spirited, determined as I made my oldest brother out to be in my last post, I now want to shine the light in another direction.


These people - I referred to earlier as "encouragers" are every day people who have risen or are rising to a challenge. A challenge which sometimes sweeps away everything in it's path with no regard for anything or anyone. Who are these people ?


CAREGIVERS


One simple word that encompasses a world of sacrifice, love , victories, losses, pain, and ultimately usually grief.


Caregivers usually find themselves thrust into situations they did not plan for such as having to go from home maker to bread winner or vice versa in the case of male cargivers caring for a disabled spouse or elderly parent, or disabled child. They have to learn new skills like giving injections, dealing with bed sores, keeping catheters clean, learning how to use a feeding tube or cope with physical demands like moving a person from bed to chair or car.


Their resources, life savings , homes can dry up and blow away like dust in the wind in the face of mounting medical costs and limited or no income. Other family members may disagree with decisions or actions by the caregiver without thinking about how their judgements might affect the caregiver or the patient.


And on top of all the obstacles, decisions, hardships and crisis situations the caregiver must deal with daily they almost always also sit and watch a loved one suffer, deteriorate , and die. No matter how much they do, how hard they try, how many prayers are said or tears are shed.....in the end the caregiver is left to wonder .....Did I do all I could ? What if I had done this....or that....Why did this happen to me ? To us ? Why can't I fix this ?


One caregiver I know commented that she was in awe of the way her husband handled himself in dealing with PD. Another caregiver has shared many painful stories about how they just can't cope. There is no paycheck. Friends and Family rarely understand the sacrifices that the caregiver may have to make in order to get the job done. I recently saw a TV documentary about parents caring for their children who were wounded in Iraq or Afghanistan and came home requiring constant care and assistance. The government usually provides a pension for that person, but who pays the caregiver who has to give up their life, their job , sometimes the rest of their family ?


There is another word for Caregivers that quite possibly suits them better.


HEROES


Yes, they are truly heroes. In every sense of the word.


My wonderful wife recently admitted that in a dark corner of her mind she sometimes wonders if she is up to the challenge of what is to come. I am sure every caregiver wonders about that at some point. Most just keep on getting up literally and figuratively for whatever challenge the next day brings.


So, the next time you meet someone who is disabled or has some type of disease that is going to affect them the rest of their life....try to see the big picture. They may have courage beyond compare , no doubt , just like both my brothers , my friends Dan and Ben...but ultimately their is someone standing close beside them, ready to help, always there , looking for the next challenge, enduring the pain of watching something happen to someone they love that is out of their control. Dealing with the world, family members, doctors, medicare, insurance companies and anyone or anything else that comes their way.


These are the forgotten heroes. These are OUR heroes. We will leave them behind to pick up the pieces, rebuild and recover if they can. When you see one...be sure to let them know that you see what they are doing and that it is important and appreciated. Be quick to praise and slow to judge. Tell them what a great job they are doing. They need that in order to do what they must do.

To all my blog friend caregivers, you know who you are, I appreciate you. You're doing wonderful , great things. You are all heroes.....

Shaaky