SEX, MONEY,KIDS

Catchy title huh ? Thought it might get your attention.....

It IS the subject of this post actually. The three things couples argue about most generally speaking. Often leading to divorce I might add....been there , done that.

But I digress....

These three subjects, like it or not, generate plenty of arguments amongst couples and for good reason. All three tend to generate strong feelings in any given human being. Another generaliztion would be that it is often not enough of the first two , sometimes helped along by too many of the third one ! We have all likely been there at one time or another. However, for PWP's these three little gems are often even trickier to navigate. The reason I say this is simple. Side effects.

That's right, side effects from one or more of the drugs used to treat PD can escalate these issues into the stratosphere and beyond. Mirapex , a dopamine agonist is especially interesting. You don't even have to read about the side effects, the TV commercials for this drug plainly state that Mirapex has been known to cause uncontrollable sexual urges or gambling urges. If you read about Mirepex online, you will find that some people using this drug have gambled away fortunes or spent small fortunes on sex or sexually related material. Kind of incredible and sensational but proven true.

When I was first diagnosed three years ago the only drug I took was Mirapex. A year later, Levodopa was added and by this year the dosage of both had been increased several times. Let me stop here to say that I considered Mirapex a wonder drug when it comes to sleeping at night. Without it, my legs ache, jerk, spasm, my toes curl and in general sleep is impossible and that is not an exagerration, I have gone days without sleep once when I could not get my Mirapex refilled on time. However, I am happy to say I have not had to deal with any other of the severe side effects noted above !

Unfortunately, there are lesser side effects, not commonly discussed or as prominent but no less dangerous and these apparently were nearly my undoing. As my dosage was increased, I myself did not notice the small changes occurring in my daily life. But my wife noticed.......

Mirapex causes impulse control issues on any number of levels not just when it comes to sex or money matters. For instance, I might leave going to the store for a pack of smokes and not return for two hours leaving Mary to wonder if I was dead in a ditch , broke down or being abducted by aliens. Or worse....is Keith having an affair ?

Unbeknownst to me, all the while oblivious, Mary was left to wonder where I might be when I disappeared. Maybe I started home from work but decided to stop and see a friend......or three. When my cell phone would ring I would be irritated. There she goes, checking up, nagging me to get on home. I'm a grown man, can't I stop somewhere if I want to ?

After months of this, it got worse. She would call and with obvious irritation say " Just wondering where you are at ?" (long sigh from her end of the phone, obviously pissed). This would set me off instantly. By the time I got home, we would hardly speak until finally it generally erupted into the same old argument....


Her - Where the hell have you been ? You got off at five ! ( It is now 7 ...)



Me - Can't I stop for just a minute or two if I choose ? I am SO tired of you tracking me down ...I feel like you have to know where I am every second !!! ( door slams, I go out to smoke and brood).

Another issue was my lack of patience on just about any level. I could pop a head gasket over the simplest of issues and usually did. If Mary tried to discuss something with me I would jump down her throat and accuse her of trying to start a fight intentionally.

If a thought crossed my mind , it usually came out of my mouth no matter where we might be or who might be around. It was often embarrassing or awkward once my mouth opened and then I would get that look ......and I would say "What ? What'd I do ?

If you are paying attention, you might have put together by now that ALL of these issues in some form or another are IMPULSE CONTROL issues. That's right, the same type of problem noted in the beginning of this post , just not sexual in nature or related to gambling. More subtle perhaps, less sensational, but still dangerous and very irritating. Certainly stress producing and not stress reducing.

Over time, Mary began to solve the puzzle that was my behavior. As usual , she researched, read, pondered, watched and evaluated. When the dosage was increased this last time she was able to identify increases in those impulse control issues. She had suspected the cause for a long time and even tried to talk to me about it many times only to be met with a stone wall from me. After all, I am the one on the meds, wouldn't I notice any side effects? Perhaps.....if they were big enough. The fact is I didn't notice or was unwilling to admit that I saw any change. And I was scared ....how would I sleep without Mirapex ?

Earlier I had switched from Mirapex to Requip during the day because Mirapex also causes sleep attacks. I could be driving no more than an hour trip and have to stop and take a nap along the way or risk falling asleep at the wheel. The switch to requip during the day helped that issue greatly but I was still taking Mirapex at night and even in reduced amounts it affected me.

One day, after another bitter confrontation about being gone longer or stopping multiple times before coming home, Mary made it clear that something had to change. She was at the end of her rope. So I agreed to wean off Mirapex. It wasn't easy. Sleepless, miserable nights wandering the house while everyone else slept. Juggling , playing with dosages on the other meds to find the combination that worked. After about three days, Mary said she could see a difference. I was more patient, more willing to listen with an open mind. A week into it, I started sleeping again and had stopped "wandering off the grid" for hours without warning.
I still don't rest as well as I did with Mirapex but I can get 5 good hours in before my legs get me up.
If there is a moral to this story it is simple. PWP's or others with a disease requiring meds on a daily basis MUST keep an open mind about side effects and above all trust your partner or caregiver when they see a problem. It is much easier for them to see these type of things looking from the outside in than for the patient to see themselves.

Sex, Money and Kids. Sure , we've had those arguments too......but in the end, we both know that nothing is stronger than us together. We are trying to enjoy whatever time God gives us before the bad times come and who can say if or when ? It isn't up to us after all.....

Another time, another subject, until then....

Shaaky

HELLO OLD FRIENDS - AND NEW ONES TOO !

After almost exactly a year since my last blog entry, it feels good to be back. Lot's to share, plenty to question and hoping people will come back to read.

A high speed cable modem helps things !

A quick update before I consider my next serious post.....

Since Dec. 08....

Mary got pregnant again.

Keith increased his meds.

Mary noticed some changes associated in those increased meds.

Mary insisted Keith stop taking mirapex.

Baby Cecilia Mae is born and baby Rielly-Anne turns 3 !

Keith participates in a clinical study on reaction time and PD Meds.

Somewhere in there is a serious blog post-stay tuned !

Shaaky