Thursday, November 27, 2008

A BLESSING AND A LESSON

I must admit that I have been reluctant to accept some aspects of PD and even more reluctant to post on this subject.

My wife recently blogged (Life with Shaky) about learning to ask for help when we need it and about the disappointment she feels when family members can see how PD affects us but fail to offer to help. This isn't the first time she has posted on this subject and I feel sure there will be more. This IS the first time I have posted anything on that subject. This was brought on by a not so random act of kindness by one of my neighbors. He owns his own landscaping / lawn care business. Yesterday he pulled his truck into my drive and he and his helper assaulted the tons of leaves in our front yard with back pack leaf blowers and a powerful vacuum hose on his truck. This took about 30-45 minutes. It would have taken me days if it even got done.

He did it because he knows that 2 years ago I landed in the hospital after using my old hand held leaf blower all day and bagging and hauling leaves to the dump. He isn't around me for hours each day, maybe he sees me 15 minutes each week. It's enough for him to know that what was less than an hour out of his day likely saved me days of effort, utter exhaustion and pain. It was a blessing that couldn't be ignored. No one had to explain to my neighbor how PD affects me and no one asked him to help us out. He has seen me deteriorate over the past two years and took action.

Mary gets all out of sorts, especially with her family, because no one seems to SEE just how much PD has affected me. But it really isn't just family, it's the nature of our society. All too often most of us tend to be so wrapped up in our own struggles and lives that we don't take the time to see what anyone else is struggling to overcome. This is why the nursing homes stay in business. Children cannot find the time or love to care for an ailing parent. We are a self centered, self absorbed society that has lost compassion for others, including family. When Mary and I discussed this issue recently I commented that it doesn't bother me that family isn't stepping up to help me more. I understand that to most, on the surface, I am still healthy and go to work every day. They don't really understand yet the effects of the disease and likely won't until I am unable to work.

Unfortunately, my "understanding" equals only my willingness to excuse a lack of caring and compassion on the part of others and you know why ? Because all too often I don't take the time to really "see" other peoples struggles and take action to help. If I get upset at others for this lack of understanding I need only look in the mirror to see a guilty party..........

Another lesson learned thru my battle with PD.

I resolve today to take the time to notice other peoples struggles. To teach my kids to do the same and to ask myself what I can do to help someone else.